


I Did It, All of It, For You

by quicksilverdeancas (quicksilvermalec)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Author Is Not Religious, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon recap, Canonical Character Death, Cute Gabriel, Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, Evil Author Day, Gabriel Loves Sam Winchester, Gabriel's Heaven is being in a Christian church wearing Sam's shirt, Hurt Gabriel, I hope you're prepared for angst!, I made it gayer, I mean come on it's me you're reading a quicksilverdeancas fic, I'm Sorry, Other, Pining Gabriel, Post-Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, SAM SMELLS GOOD, Sad Gabriel, The Author Regrets Everything, break out the tissues, but not that sorry ;-), emotionally hurt Gabriel, enjoooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy <3, excuse me for a second while I fanguy myself to death, fuckit it doesn't matter, it's all so gay, it's gonna be brutal, it's literally midnight as I'm tagging this shit, just a little, oh my god Sabriel is my OTFUCKINGP, prayers, well I mean I am but not like this, yeah Gabe is dead sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 08:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21223841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverdeancas
Summary: It smelled like him. It smelled like his pomegranate scented shampoo and ever so faintly of his lilac body lotion.orGabriel was kind of grieving his own death, which was weird, because the only reason he even cared that he was dead in the first place was because it wrenched him away from the stupid gorgeous Sam Winchester. You know, yet again.





	I Did It, All of It, For You

**Author's Note:**

> Do I know that the title is a Destiel quote? Yes, yes I do. Do I give a fuck about the fact that I'm applying it so Sabriel instead because it's relevant here? No. No I do not.
> 
> Enjoy!

He tried, his Father knew he tried, but he couldn’t swallow the panic he was feeling over fucking Lucifer being here, in his nearly destroyed vessel, ten feet away from-

Sam. He had to protect Sam. He was sure Sam would think that was absurd, probably make a height joke – actually, no. _Dean _would make a height joke, but Sam would be mature enough to just tell him to his face that he could protect himself, and while Gabriel could appreciate that he was capable, it didn’t meant that he didn’t want to, and besides. Lucifer was a manipulative douchebag who, given 90 seconds alone with Sam, could probably get him to say ‘yes’ – and try and get in front of him, but Gabriel was an archangel, Daddammit, and he was ready to die for Sam’s sins like his beloved half-brother. He guided Sam, Dean, and Kali out of the room, keeping his body between them and his brother, but very much protecting Sam above all else. That was one thing he and Dean Winchester had in common – unlimited, unconditional, and possibly completely unfounded love for Sam Winchester.

_“Luci, you’re my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.”_

He was pretty proud of that line. It echoed in his ears for hours after he said it, tinny, with that interesting quality of sound waves that have been bouncing around a tile bathroom or something equally reflective.

(Sound waves were his idea, by the way. He was bored, back before The Beginning, and trying to come up with interesting concepts to make the world the humans lived in as complicated and confusing as possible. He might have been high on something, he didn’t actually remember, but he pitched the idea to Michael and Raphael and Lucifer, throwing around a little cloud ball. “What if sound was just vibrations in the air and it bounced off of some stuff and got absorbed by other stuff?”

Michael had just stared at him for a second, but then Lucifer had jumped up and shouted, “that’s brilliant!”, snapped his fingers, and boom! that was the way it was to this day.)

_Great big bag of dicks_.

But Luci hadn’t fallen for his elaborate ruse. “Don’t forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother.” Gabriel couldn’t deny that, even as the angel blade slid between his vessel’s ribs and he felt his Grace dissipating from the body he inhabited. The world had gone dark around him, he’d just collapsed, and then he’d woken up… here. Wherever it was exactly that ‘here’ happened to be.

He’d come back to consciousness sitting in the middle of what looked like a church. He was in a pew, one arm over the back, and he glanced down at it. _Why the hell was he wearing plaid_? He reached for the shirt, ready to pull it off, but stopped short. It smelled like him. It was- holy fuck, he was wearing one of Sam Winchester’s flannels. It smelled like his pomegranate scented shampoo, the faintest hint of his lilac skin lotion and… was that a _scented candle called flannel? _(Spoiler alert: Gabriel was an archangel. He knew almost everything there was to know about the universe and everything in it, second only to his Father. It most definitely was a scented candle called flannel.)

He fought the urge to pull the flannel all the way off, bunch it up, and press his face into it – it was weird enough that he was apparently in an abandoned church in the middle of the night, he didn’t need to creep on this random human he was accidentally in love with on top of that – and instead looked around himself. It was dark and empty, the stained-glass windows providing little light to brighten the room. It was faint, but when he focused, he could feel the remnants of his Father’s presence here.

It may not be anymore, whether because it was no longer in use or because those who used it had strayed far from his true message, but it was once a holy place, which meant he might be able to contact his Dad from there.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but there was no one here to see him, so he just started to pray. “Daddy, I tried my best. I saved the Winchesters for you. I even stood up to my brother for you. I stopped running, stopped hiding, stood my ground and fought like an angel for the first time in centuries… for _you_.” And for him. “And I was just wondering… is there any way you could send me back down there?” He paused and sighed.

“And if not, could you maybe just… give those boys a message for me? Could you tell Dean Winchester he’s doin’ it right, he’s being for his little brother what I never had? Could you-” He choked off, then tried again, quieter this time. “Could you tell little Sammich Winchester that I’m really gonna miss him, and couldja tell them all to keep fighting? For me?” He glared up at the ceiling, suddenly angry at the absentee parent that had caused him so much suffering, had never given him a fighting chance against all his bigger older brothers, had molded him into something he never wanted to be. “Is that really so much to ask, old man?” he shouted at the sky. “Is that really such a big burden on your shoulders?”

There was, predictably, no answer from the crumbling wooden planks vaulted above his head. He sighed and pushed himself up from the pew, but instead of turning and making his way out of the sanctuary, he walked through the rows and rows of pews until he made it to the front of the building, where there was a little shrine on an altar.

“Is this my Heaven?” Gabriel wondered aloud, absurdly. Angels didn’t get Heaven – they were created by their Father, not born, made to serve Man, the flawed and imperfect Creation that was somehow the only one worthy of making it into Heaven.

Because right there on the altar, there were pictures of Sam Winchester, candles, plaid shirts, all kinds of things that Gabriel knew Sam loved. He smiled at them. This was just about as good as he was going to get.

And fucking hell, he would take it.

**Author's Note:**

> That 'flannel' scented candle actually exists. You can fin it [here](https://www.bathandbodyworks.com/p/flannel-3-wick-candle-024550819.html?cgid=3-wick-candles#start=48).
> 
> Shoutout to mir and Jade for helping me figure out what Sam smells like! (Wow, that's a really weird sentence taken out of context xD)
> 
> Love,  
-Fake Dean


End file.
